All of which contributes to a feeling of being oneself involved in the bustle of the kitchen

All of which contributes to a feeling of being, oneself, involved in the bustle of the kitchen.This is no pan-Oceanic-cum-SinoCalifornian purveyor of wok-flipped koala steak with banyan puree and a thrice-reduced jus of moon cactus Oh no. No DKNY V-necks on the waiters, no Starck spotlights illuminating the latest interior-design quip from Emily Todhunter.The concept (to use a very Nineties boom word) is Alsatian More specifically, the tartes flambées of the region. These, indeed, are the “tartufs” from which the place gets its name. (Thankfully, it has nothing to do with the dreary play of the same name by Moliÿre – a man whose oeuvre is living proof that the national skills of play writing and cooking are mutually exclusive.)The tartes are wafer-slim dough bases, somewhere between matzos and thin crust pizza, baked in a rectangle and topped with fromage blanc. Traditional toppings involve permutations of lardons, onion, mushroom, emmental, and garlic, and Tartuf also offers specials topped with such things as goat’s cheese, chorizo, Munster, spinach and chicken.Each tarte, about the size of an Asterix book, arrives on a wooden chopping board and is eighted (the eight-piece equivalent of quartered, in case you were wondering) at your table by a man with a pizza knife. What Alsatians do, I gather, is to roll them up and biff them down with a slug of something out of a rutscherle, which is a tiny traditional glass and the only type available at Tartuf.

They have plenty of Alsatian beers and the house white is perfectly suited to the food – though it would take an awful lot of rutscherle-fuls to get truly loaded.The value is immense. A set lunch at £4.90 a head will give you two eight-piece savoury tartes. Each one can be divided into two sections, topping-wise, (which shows a versatility Pizza Express would never allow) so that you share the first, then order the second. The food is at its best straight from the oven, and is cooked so fast that you just order as you go.Pudding, as tradition dictates, is yet another tarte, on which the fromage blanc is sweetened, and you have chocolate and bananas and plums and stuff instead of ham and cheese.Now, they make the lads big in Alsace. A combination of French foodiness, Germanic heartiness, and Swiss tendency to eat a lot because there’s nothing else to do, has made the Alsatian a giant amongst men. And so I decided to play ball and, after my set lunch, which, at seven quid including a nice glass of wine was more than enough food, I had a sauerkraut as well. But only for research purposes, as you don’t find it much in London.As I expected, it was very generous: heaps of cabbage, three kinds of cured pork – salt, smoked, and the classic kasser – and two kinds of sausage.

With strong mustard and lashings of nose-blasting home-made horseradish it all made for a fantastic Alsatian sensation.When the dot bubble bursts, you lose your job, your mortgage rockets, house prices plummet and you spiral into negative equity – all because of that dinner in Islington six years ago – take solace, and shelter in Tartuf.. If you want to get serious about making pizza at home, or just do better with supermarket specimens, three items need a place on your shopping list. The first (and most important) is a baking stone: an unglazed ceramic tile that mimics the effect of a traditional pizza oven. Porous and heat-retaining, it crisps up the pie’s base as solid metal never can. Stones must be preheated for 20-30 minutes, but they shorten cooking times. If you want to get serious about making pizza at home, or just do better with supermarket specimens, three items need a place on your shopping list. The first (and most important) is a baking stone: an unglazed ceramic tile that mimics the effect of a traditional pizza oven.

Porous and heat-retaining, it crisps up the pie’s base as solid metal never can. Stones must be preheated for 20-30 minutes, but they shorten cooking times.
Several companies sell round pizza stones; the one I have is called HotRox, and it’s widely available for around £20. HotRox comes with a metal stand that serves in lieu of a trivet, but if you don’t need a base, you can save money by buying an unglazed tile from a tile shop.Item two: a pizza cutter like the ones used in Italian restaurants (pictured). When that crust goes crisp it will need something very sharp to slice through it. Your best knife would do fine – but after a few conversations with the baking stone, it would no longer be your best knife. The revolving blade on the pizza cutter does the job more easily, and costs just a few pounds whichever brand you buy.Item three is a peel: a thin metal sheet attached to a long wooden handle used for sliding pie onto stone.